i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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