he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
