Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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