I just pynch a tree in the face
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
