Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
