i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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