good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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