Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize