Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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