Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
