Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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