I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we made out on top of his cat.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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