I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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