Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
