quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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