good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Randomize
