I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
