I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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