I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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