She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
