He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
