u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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