You can't special order awesome
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
