I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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