Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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