Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
