I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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