How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My bed smells like the plague
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