So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
