All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
