Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
