Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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