feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
