Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
