And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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