There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
