And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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