Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
