Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(417): View more from Missouri

Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

Fav 11 1791 3451
share tweet
(224): View more from Illinois

he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

Fav 44 7923 4717
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...

Fav 7 1246 3503
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.

Fav 80 14747 1416
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…

Fav 3 2337 1017
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex

Fav 10 1149 3443
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous

Fav 4 1107 2273
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.

Fav 5 768 906
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...

Fav 0 10 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT