i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize