if i can run in heels then i can drive
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize