I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
