we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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