I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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