There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
