mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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