when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
