I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
