ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
