fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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