Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
