so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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