Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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