New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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