She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
