32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?