You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there