She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.