Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..