I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.