my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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