I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
