This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
