After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
